london rain…

Another dreary morning in the Bog Woods… driving my car thru the Sleepy Hollow-style, swirling fog while light sliced thru wet leaves to dance on the windshield in prisms of impossible color… the scent of moss and damp seeping in thru the vents, reminding me that while warmer weather is coming at the end of the week, the leaves will be crunching underfoot in no time…

I love the rain. I love the soothing heaviness it brings to my innermost soul, reminding me of Petaluma, Panama, the Keys, all those places I loved deeply, and in which I was loved deeply at the same time. Rain focuses me, sometimes making me a tad bit maudlin, but in that state I can work to an exponential degree, so it’s all good. I even love songs about rain, and instead of thinking of a sad one this a.m., my mind turned to Heather Nova’s catchy tune…

“… i’m coming home to you, i’m alive i’m a mess… i can’t wait to get home to you, warm, warm and undressed…”

Leave it to me to bring weather around to love, and lovemaking, right ? =) I’ll keep it short this time, suffice it to say that this past week was filled with him on call and coming home all hours of the night, soaked and shivering. Walking in the door,  quietly so as not to disturb me, I would hear him stumble to the bathroom coughing softly. Heart swelling, I slipped into my robe and made my way to the kitchen, to brew him some hot coffee and be smiling when he walked into the dimly lit room. I offered a hot shower and to wash his back, and the small “really?” accompanied by a wide-eyed grin was enough to melt my heart into a new shape… 10 minutes later he stopped shivering, and was mewing like a kitten, swaying on his feet with exhaustion. He was asleep practically before his head hit the pillow, but I continued to rub warmed oil into his back. He was conscious on some level, because as I tried several times to stop, he whimpered and would pull me closer… finally deeply entrenched in Morpheus’ delights, he relaxed, arms still curled around my waist, and as I drifted off, I thought about how such a small act of kindness on my part brought him such deep pleasure, which he commented on for days following…

Rain also reminds me of the FDNY, and firemen in general. Mike was a Fireman before joining the Army Reserve then CG. My first memories of him were at his mother’s house, pulling on an impossibly sexy set of blues before jumping into his truck to race to Engine 2, then 16, and finally Ladder 3 in Worcester’s South Division. Years of friendship and more were forged by those duty days and calls at night. Hearing the sirens during that time always made me think that someone was in danger of perishing, and others were in the same danger simply because they show up every day to help… no matter where in our country you reside, those sirens mean help is on the way. The things we take for granted, people…

Did you know Steve Buscemi was a Fireman as well ? Yes, I have an obviously deep and abiding love for men in uniform, men who sacrifice, put their lives on the line for something they believe in. Steve is a fantastic actor, but more importantly, is a person who helps out. Just like Dennis Leary, and Brad Pitt, in his own, not so small way. Humanitarians like Angelina Jolie, Zendaya, Emma Watson, George Clooney… Tim Gunn, Richard Branson, Gary Sinise… the list goes on. We are barraged daily by the stupidity of humanity, but need to remember that no matter what one is passionate about, chances are somewhere on our shores you can find someone with enough money, time or influence to give passionately to their cause.

Yes, I am rambling, but knowing me, you would not have it any other way. Today, my mind full of Mao and Pol Pot, Satlin’s brand of communism, Castro’s successes in building schools and education in general, the variances to be found in feldspars, and chemistry. Also whirling around up there are thoughts of what I want to accomplish, who I want to become, and how I can positively impact my little corner of this crazy and amazing world of ours. So as I get ready for another day of fidgeting in the back row, I ask you, what is it that you want to contribute, or that you are actively doing now, that in some way serves and uplifts, that makes a difference ? I realize as the fog melts away and the sun brightens, I want to know you better. You ARE my peeps, after all… =) Namaste !


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