year in review… week 3

Ah… this has been a whirly-swirly-gumdrop kind of week… a miasma of confusion with some sweet threaded thru. Rather than try to configure this post into some categories resembling a cohesive list, I am just going to throw out some of the high, or low, points and go from there… forgive the mess, I am sick after all… =)

1. Perforated eardrum, head cold and sinuses necessitated a Dr. visit, drugged to within inch of life since Tuesday.

2. Have not slept more than few hours a night since Wednesday, finally figured out a sensitivity to aforementioned meds, and am off everything now except ibuprofen for swelling and pain. Cannot hear so well, and stuffy beyond belief, but am regaining feeling in fingers… and not slurring words any longer, lol.

3. Semester officially began, thoughts of killing certain professors occupying mind daily.

4. Listening to same 4 songs on a loop, over and over, and OVER… cannot stop, don’t particularly want to. Yes, they are country love songs, how astute of you… =)

5. Daily texts and phone calls with My Bear… who is slowly but without a doubt worming his adorable way into that cold, dead place inside my chest formerly known as my heart. Am still not sure what to think of this development, will keep you posted.

6. Eating popcorn, chicken strips, raspberries and spinach. Over and over and OVER… habit seems to have been the design for the week.

7. Met ANOTHER man (wft??!!), funny and cute, who laughed out loud when I sighed and told him I could not possible think of even a coffee with him, as I am neck-deep in man troubles at the moment. Said man pulled marker from back pocket and scrawled name and number on back of my hand. Texting daily. Laughing loudly. Contemplating sanity…

8. My Bear sent photo of him with good-juju Pats scruff covering lower face… slight grin, sun streaming into window behind him… heart-meltingly sexy… contemplating sanity, again…

9. Foxling started high school, happy and confident with choice, has friendly acquaintances already ! Am getting used to having work time during the day… rather unsettling that I do not hear a plaintive call from her room, “Mumma, come check this!”

10. Still no word from The Soldier, adding no small amount of stress to my nights. Day are fine, I can go about life as if I don’t happen to care at all, but at night, fears crawl from under the bed to lie by my side, curling around me and never letting me forget for a moment who is not by my side…

11. Came to conclusion that decisions must be made, but unsure of how to turn off emotion and feeling at the drop of a hat. I am definitely NOT the “Absence… that common cure for love” type of gal. Now I find myself with 2 of them, whose absence is making my heart grow fonder with each passing day. I tried, I really did, to walk away from them both… that particular brand of hell lasted less than 2 days. Hnh… again, walking in the spiderwebs, brambles entangling my feet, think I am about to fall… but in which direction ?

GAH ! Must needs get schoolwork done before we lose power. I love that you all are “here”, and will put up with my pondering as I figure out which side of the road I will cross to… be safe, and stay warm in the stormy days ahead…



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