sunday musings…

Nothing special to report, just a sleepy Sunday morning, foggy and frigid outside, warm and clean in my den. My weekend has been shifted off my usual schedule of cleaning, playing and The Bear, leaving me slightly disconcerted. My foxling is at home as well, after her weeks with other half of the parental unit…

Friday was spent outside, of course, as well as at the grocers and cleaning, which is usually a Saturday morning thing. The Bear and I had plans a day early, so after cramming to get everything done, of course we got into a HUGE row and I told him not to come and hung up, furious at him, myself, and The Soldier for not being here. In my infinite wisdom, instead of soothing myself in a hot bath and calling back, I called Henry, Rachel and Todd, and proceeded to go out and burn it down…

Saturday consisted of laundry, an early morning breakfast and play time with Dax, scrambling to get things to order after which my foxling came home for lunch. I am not used to being with people 24 hours a day anymore, and realize how much I have come to look forward to my much-loved alone time. She is driving me bat-shit crazy already, and I have her until Friday evening, sigh.. Methinks this will be a long week…

The bright and shining spots of the weekend were, wait for it… 2 texts from The Soldier, 2 days IN A ROW !! =) =) Amazing stuff, that, blush and a wide grin. He is once again at the top of my message log, his rightful place. Don’t text me, I’ll reply then delete the thread, to keep him in that coveted #1 spot. =) He is bundled up within an inch of his life, looks like a popsicle in Army green, cherry-cheeked and smiling a soft half-grin that melts me to my core. He is alive, frozen perhaps, but blissfully alive nonetheless. Breathing in and out, the same as me. And for another day, all the small, inconsequential bullshit of daily life falls away and I am left marveling at the miracle of life itself, so expected, but so fleeting… no worry in my heart this morning, which creates in me a smoldering fire, warm and safe… love. Thank all that is holy, all the Gods come before and to come, thank you…

As I think of my own fortunate place and circumstances, all the times he has been in the weeds and come out by the skin of his teeth, and the miles of life I see stretched out before me, I cannot help think about others who have had their own path cut short by a split-second decision. As a veteran with current ties to the Army, my eyes and ears are always open to the military goings-on in our country as well as abroad. Today, the fatal shooting of a doctor and his assailant at the VA Clinic on post at Fort Bliss is on my mind. We expect to be put in harms way when we are deployed, when we are on foreign soil and either defending or attacking, in one manner or another. But at home, in our safe area we have come to know and love ? That rocks you to the core, to think that “bad things happen” here, where you live, to people you may know, and love. Details may not be released to the public, and even if they are, would knowing that the shooter needed help make anyone feel better ? What if he was basically ok  mentally, just good and pissed off and decided to kill someone then take his own life ? Could we collectively hate him, assign blame and then move on ? The point its that there are 2 people dead, who were alive mere days ago. This is happening constantly in our world, school shootings, bombs at public events; the taking of life for no reason we can fully understand. Tragedy, terrorism, death, is there any way for us to combat those evils and feel safe and secure ? I think all we can do is live. Breathe, love, embrace those we care for. Take every chance to tell the people in our lives that they are cared for. Spend time with those we love, show them in small ways that your world is a better place for them being in it. Take the time to live, fully and without reservation…

I am also thinking of our own dear Punky, who recently lost someone. I know I can offer no words of comfort to her, but I can do this… I love you, my friend. My world is a better place for you being in it. You are special, you are amazing, and when you are gone, you will be missed. I didn’t want another day to go by without telling you that. =) Please have a wonderful day and know you make me laugh, my friend. Everyone, virtual hugs coming your way… be safe, and have a lovely !

 

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. NotAPunkRocker
    Jan 11, 2015 @ 12:20:37

    Aw, you are making me tear up. Thank you for that, dear. ((Hugs))

    I am so essai over your Soldier texts 🙂

    Reply

  2. tishmoon
    Jan 11, 2015 @ 14:55:06

    Hiya, Punky-girl ! =) Any old time, friend… =) And btw, THANKS for the support of my insane love life, it is good to have that. Were he here, he’d tip his hat in your direction… =)

    Reply

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