in my veins…

I’m so busy today, I think I have gone from productive all the way ’round the bend to doing nega-work… the more I finish, the more I have to go… I am battling a Hydra, and I fear it is kicking my ass… =) Must get back to work before it smothers me… or perhaps I should simply give in and jump into a hot bath overflowing with Fresh Sake bubbles, a bottle of cold beer in one hand and the iPad blaring tunes. HEY ! Maybe then when I am thru and toweling off, my paper will have written itself ? This bears researching…

I talked to The Soldier on Sunday night, the sweet angel texted at just before midnight and asked if I was still awake… I keep his ringtone set to HIGH for this specific instance… texted back “of COURSE, darling man” and raced to the bathroom to brush my teeth before he called… I now, nuts, but I was jolted awake and stupid as the day is long. =) Splashed my face with ICE COLD water, screeched and raced back to bed by the time he called… “Hi there, ******, darling man !” =) Between deployments, short training missions, his leave for his daughter’s birthday, and anywhere from 2 to 8 time zones, I take any and all contact when it comes my way. We ended up talking until 2am; sharing our days, making plans, whispering softly and laughing out loud. It was the best date I have had in weeks, and I told him so. He said that a bonus for me to being his girl is that I don’t have to shave my legs very often… bwahaha ! =) He is so right, I am saving a fortune in shave cream. He has been texting me photos of him flying, of his planes, and of his smiling face, surrounded be sunshine. No it is NOT the same as being together, but it does make me feel like I am involved in his days, and that is enough to make me simply float around the house with a sappy grin plastered to my sighing visage… much to the disgust of my foxling, who says “Mum, I am SO GLAD I’m not gonna be there when you fly to his house if this is the way you’re gonna act!”

That a 2 hour phone call has been the best date in recent memory is a testament to one of two things. Either 1… I need to get out more, or 2… I am seriously into this man. And all I’m gonna say is that it is almost impossible for me to go out any more than I already do ! So that leaves option 2.  It is not by choice that we have dinner dates by Skype rather than in the same room together, and you must know full well I would prefer to slow dance in his arms rather than alone in my room as he sings softly to me across the oceans… That being said, I will take these stolen moments over an actual date with Jeff, Teddy, Jim, Ronan, Sean or Shadow Shepard any day of the week. Our moments may be imperfect, but they are ours, and I cannot imagine anything better for the time being. Well, I most certainly can; but that would be a tad bit graphic, even for yours truly. =)

So I work, or procrastinate and then cram. I call, and talk and listen. I listen to “our” songs, over and over again, until tears dry and I am smiling once again, for all the possibility ahead. I type and re-type, finding just the right blend of the lightheartedness he loves in me and yearning. I amuse myself buying all manner of travel-sized goodies, and lovingly place each one into my carry-on, smiling at the small but growing pile of tangible evidence pointing toward out time together. I print out all those photos, and paper my walls with them, and change the background on my phone every day so I can see him, a fresh look for every day of the week. When the calls and emails become too sporadic for my comfort, I get dressed in my prettiest clothes, line my wide eyes and go play, distract myself from the fact that whomever I am out with, while a mere shadow of the man that The Soldier is, is at least a distraction. And I can laugh at myself, and feel happy, because I know it, and so does The Soldier. And every little thing is gonna be alright.

I said the other day that I want to drown in my life. I think I mean that I want to drown in my life, with him. Floating weightless in a tight embrace, warm and enveloped together, current carrying us far away, always together, always safe; just… bliss. Without hope or reason, without expectation, without anything but one another, perfectly suspended in time, enveloped together. Just… bliss.




2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. NotAPunkRocker
    Nov 19, 2014 @ 11:56:36

    ❤ ❤ ❤


    • tishmoon
      Nov 19, 2014 @ 18:02:42

      Hiya, Punky-Gal ! =)

      As always; from you flows a constant stream of light and love… thank you deeply, my friend. Isn’t this an amazing life ?


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