just meandering…

Am I the only woman who finds Ryan Gosling to be an unattractive, mealy-mouthed simpleton ? I just do not get the attraction there… I mean, seriously ? I have 2 types of men who I find irresistible. The first was always the tall, blonde, German… athletic and outspoken, who can throw me over his shoulder and carry me out the door, laughing all the way. My first 2 loves were of that type, and I felt small, secure and safe in their arms. My more recent type was the compact, sporty guy; lean, fast and surprisingly strong. I can almost see into their eyes, them being only a few inches taller than me. The Professor is this type of guy, and I felt equal to him, a nice change from craning my neck and going on tippy-toes for a smooch. My last 2 loves were of this type. So that covers 26 years of men for me, except for the one exception. He was medium tall, dark and brooding, a frenchmen only 3 generations from the crossing. He reminds me of Jean Reno; not traditionally attractive, but mysterious and sexy in that dangerous way. When we went out, I never knew where we would end up, sometimes it was JFK, to fly to some warm ocean water we would spend days diving into, or maybe just to Providence for a cup of coffee. I never knew, and that was what made him so fascinating. We ended up “following” each other coast to coast, the CG is small enough for that to happen without much effort. =) Mmm… but I digress.

I find myself back to type 1, and have met several men who fit the bill quite nicely. I am NOT looking for any type of relationship, and do not want someone who feels the need to come to my house ever. I admit, I just like the male attention. You know what I mean… I like the coffee, the laughter and conversation. The grabbing someone another beer, twisting off the cap and hearing it land in the cooler with a satisfying PLINK. The feel of large hands rubbing sunscreen into my back, making me feel small again, and sexy and wanted. The Happydrunk is this kind of guy; 6’2″, football player, loves hockey and grilling. Cleans up well enough to take out to a gallery, where he has a surprisingly relevant opinion on everything we see. Chides me that jocks can be brains too, while making plans to haul 16 of us out on the boat to get drunk and make a nuisance of ourselves… a man who drinks Starbucks, but thinks it is pretentious to grind your own beans. =) A puzzle, a regular guy, someone you feel great being around.

Of course, he has been divorced for 2 years now and is looking to settle into a new relationship. Even wants to be married again, to the right girl. WTF ? Could not believe when I laughed in his face out loud at that. I can commit to a day a week, an evening of debauchery once in a while, and drinks and/or sex on a regular basis. But that relationship thing ? Don’t have the time or inclination for that kind of insanity. Looked like a puppy when I said that this is going nowhere in a hurry. What is it about me, that makes me incapable of meeting someone who is decent, nice even, kind and funny, but who just wants to keep it casual ? I thought that was what most guys were looking for, but apparently not the ones in my age group. When I mentioned moving and working at a Navy base for a few years overseas before relocating permanently to warmer climes, he cringed. Could not imagine why I would want to go anywhere other than right here… sigh. I guess this is why I always went for the wealthy boys or the military men, because they understand my wandering feet and my absolute need to be me, without ending up cooking and cleaning the bathroom in some house that isn’t mine.

Ok, proofreading this post made me realize what a callous slut I sound like… But I am honest, about what I want as well as what I an willing to give. This group of friends; friends of old friends and of an older lover are fine for now, but I have no intention of  doing anything but what I need to right now, to keep myself focused on my education, career goals and the life I am building for myself. It amazes me that every man I have met, although nice, assumes that any woman they get involved with will shuffle their responsibilities to fit around his career and life. Of course, at our age, we are expecting much more than those dewy-eyed idiots we were in our 20’s. So I am just enjoying meeting people, having some laughs and realizing I am still cute and funny enough to attract the attention of sexy boys. That brings a smile to my face on a daily basis, I can tell you. =) Btw, my dentist told me yesterday that I look a lot younger than when I first saw him, and we talked about our age and his wrinkles and all that stuff. It is nice when someone who doesn’t want in your pants notices the little things. =)

Getting up early this morning and jumping back into my normal routine sans foxling was great ! Energized and happy, I danced around the house in pj’s listening to the music way too loudly and grinding beans with a flourish. Settling down with the laptop and notes, I realized for the first time how far behind I am in my online work, but I am a girl who loves a challenge. I got an assload of work done and am breaking for food now as well as writing this meaningless post. =)

I am going to call the apartment manager today and try to get a firm move in date… wish me a lot of luck on that front. =) I don’t feel like baking by the pool later, so I am thinking a long walk after dark and some workout tapes during the hot hours of the day will suffice for today. Getting a lot of work done, and my foxling will be home at 4, so we can have dinner together and talk. =) Have a lovely !


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. NotAPunkRocker
    Jun 25, 2014 @ 12:17:14

    Gosling, ugh? Reynolds, YES!

    I go for dark haired guys with blue or green eyes, more on the geeky side. Not the perfect body or anything close, just “normal”. Now I need to find one LOL


    • tishmoon
      Jun 25, 2014 @ 12:22:59

      Ooh, just googled him and he DOES have a great chest !
      Right now, I am torn between Alexander Skarsgard (sweet jesus, have you seen him in just boxers??) and Jeffery Dean Hotpants… no accounting for taste, I guess !
      =) =)


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