what I am loving…

Have you ever awakened in a state of complete apprehension? Not because anything new is wrong, but because there is just so much going on, that to forget one small detail would derail plans for weeks to come ? This was one of those weeks, when sleep did not come easily, and stress piled high on me, like mounds of whipped cream atop a Key Lime Pie…

New doctors, fighting with new insurance, trying to get all the bloodwork and inoculations for my classes, depositions for the car accident, phone calls from legal representation. Planning mother’s visit, a day camp for the foxling, packing for the upcoming move, not having a new house yet, even though we are packing. Exercising thru the ridiculous knot of pain that has become my shoulder blade, struggling to eat anything at all, emails from long lost friends who are on The Professor’s side and are adamant in letting me know how I must have ruined my marriage.

This week was completely FULL; of stress, school, planning, cleaning and rain. But it was not all bad, and in trying to keep my blood pressure from rising to the point of exploding my heart, I again realized how much strength in packed into my psyche… like Stitch says …”it’s little, and broken, but still good”…

Looking back over the last 7 days, I see many random highlights that brought a smile to my face, or some small happiness, laughter between my foxling and I, and even in rare moments, a sense of peace. I started taking Melatonin again, and that has made a word of difference, because if I do not sleep, I cannot function, plain and simple. I am happy to report that I slept well last night, and I woke up to sun streaming in my face, rain painting the window screens in jewel-tone drops. It was 7:15, which is late for me; I looked at my precious plants, their verdancy so brightly contrasting with the deep blue of my dresser, and smiled deeply and with a light heart. I did not have the desire to break the mood, so I grabbed a book from the nightstand and curled into my blankets, warm and snug. Piling pillows and stuffed animals around me, I created a small island in the sun and read until I didn’t feel like it any longer. This is a rare treat for a single mumma, the chance to be in the house alone, and the time to fritter away on useless but pleasurable books. =)

I am not focusing on my weight today because while I have not gained, I am holding steady and that is really irking me to no end. My new, wonderful DR had nothing but encouragement for me yesterday, and told me to take this week off from weighing and working out. She told me to walk my ass off, curl up and sleep when the mood strikes, and to eat every few hours, just a bit of something. She said the stress from the accident and the swelling of my muscles are what I need to focus on getting rid of, and that a plateau is expected after this amount of weight lost and time passed. So I have permission to relax, heal and be with my darling girl, and nothing bad will come of it. When I explained that I am scared to fall off the wagon, so to speak, she grinned at me and said that with my determination, there is no way that would happen. She also asked me if I considered going into Nursing or Nutrition, because I have an incredible empathy and  she can tell I am bright. Cannot tell you how that made my day… we discussed BSN vs MSN and the state’s requirements and job outlook. Felt marvelous to be taken seriously !!!!!

what I am loving…

1. The library in the town where we are moving… it is beautiful, a bright, open space with smiling workers and full of mums and babies. Smelled clean, carpets were dry and the selection is out of this world. I think we have found out new Friday afternoon hangout ! =)

2. Aforementioned new physician… when I told her how much I had lost so far, she got up and hugged me, and we excitedly talked about the ramifications of slimming down. She asked if she could discuss my case with her peers, because I am of an age and hormone level that makes the weight loss “impressive”, her word there ! =) When you are 20, losing or gaining is easy as pie, but as you age, it gets harder and harder to keep the muscle and rid yourself of the fat. It felt delicious to be praised and remarked upon ! Knowing I did this with no help or meds gave me a surge of pride I have not felt since I left the military. I needed that.

3. Finned deep-sea octopi… citrate octopods are just amazing, and too adorable for words ! I love their swirly fins that they use instead of jet propulsion, and have happily added them to my ever-growing collection of favorite animals that are just a little different. =) Cannot get any better than a baby octopus, slowly crawling around the benthic with their wide eyes peering intently in every direction. Since I have no computer skills whatsoever, I cannot link any information for you, but the journals at Cambridge have a great article from the Journal of the Marine Biological Association of the UK. It was very informative, but if you are looking for cute photos, just google it !

4. The impending end of term… this school year has exhausted us in new and exciting ways, and although we are learners to the core, a break is necessary for our sanity several times a year. As you know, my foxling decided herself to change maths curriculum to an honors program that encompasses 3 high school credits into 2 regular years… and that she did this in the middle of a school year. Long story short, she is a total of 61 days away from earning the first 1.5 credits, and will be starting the second half of the program this fall. This means we will be working thru the summer, with weeks off, to get her lined up with the  start date in September. We usually school year around, but this will be the last summer we do core work. The next 3 summers before she graduates will be dedicated to electives, swimming and volunteer work. You should see the triumph on her face when I tell her how proud I am of all her effort… she has kept herself motivated and has nothing but A’s on her reports ! Her latin teacher is sending a recommendation as well, which helps to fill out her portfolio. All these years of hard work are coming together into a very impressive package, and I am thrilled that I we could give her the gift of designing her own school experience. =)

5. Salon Selectives Shampoo… Best smell ever ! I used this in the early 90’s, and that is probably how long the bottles were sitting on the shelves at Big Y… but when I spied them there a few weeks ago, I shrieked and grabbed them, singing the song from the commercial… I bet Punky remembers that jingle ! Anyway, the shampoo and conditioner make my hair stick out all frizzy-like, and I now have some dandruff, but my hair smells like apples ! I love that stuff, and know I will not be getting anymore when these run out, so I am enjoying a blast from my past while I can… totally happy-making !

6. Fresh brand Sugar lip treatment… yes, a glorified chapstick. My free sample size is almost gone, and I am counting on you to tell me not to spend $25 on a lip balm that smells of honey. No seriously, tell me not to, because I am actually considering it, and with my budget ! This stuff is so remarkable, slides on and melts instantly into your lips, leaving them soft and smooth, the scent of honey and some flower softly wafting around your face all day… pure, unadulterated girl stuff. Sigh.

7. MUSIC, MUSIC, MUSIC… I am completely obsessed with music again ! We love our tunes in our den, but lately, I will get a song in my head and then it is over… 2 hours pass and we have done nothing but read, listen and dance. =) My foxling also caught the bug, and has iTunes on before I get downstairs some mornings. =) Happy, happy music, memories, smiles, singing along, laughing… MUSIC !

8. The trees out back with their… wait for it… LEAVES !!!!! =) Finally, just when I was about to run away back to CA in the night, spring has come and we have actual LEAVES on the trees surrounding the stream out back. They are small of course, and not fully unfurled, but they are there, bright green and pointy-edged, almost dripping from the branches. Thank all that is holy, we have been simply desperate for warmth, light and green. Sitting on the patio while typing, I am happy to report that I am surrounded by all three this morning, which makes this the best day ever. So far, that is… =) Have a lovely… !


4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. NotAPunkRocker
    May 17, 2014 @ 20:09:56

    Ok, I am about 5 hours from Princeton, NJ, so how far does that put me from you? Because I WANT THAT SHAMPOO! The apple smell!

    (Know what came into my mind randomly the other day? Perma-Soft shampoo. The commercial was in French and it was talking about all the great things that came from France, like champagne, but Perma Soft was from the US! It ended with the super-perm model saying “thank you for Perma Soft” in a French accent.

    Now you will tell me you never suffered the indignity of a perm… 🙂 )

    I love that in a busy week you can come up with such a great list. Libraries are great, but I love that you have octopi as #3!


  2. tishmoon
    May 17, 2014 @ 21:27:51

    I am 3 hours from Princeton… that is a lot of hours total for a day trip, so it looks like we will have to plan on a weekend, by the pool with tasty beverages and junk food… which I will totally eat with a friend because we all know those calories don’t count ! =)

    Ooh… PERMASOFT !!!!!!!! Love that shampoo ! And I most certainly did get perms, though with my straw-straight hair, they slipped out in a matter of weeks. My sister, on the other hand, has crazy long curly hair, and the foxling calls her “Auntie Rapunzle” =)

    Check out those little cephalopods… they are just too cute for words. Someday when I am ruler of the planet, I will have my own mini-submersible and dive all over, and be able to see everything down there for myself. =)


  3. bella
    May 20, 2014 @ 22:12:58

    Thanks for sharing,,,
    I love your post,,,


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