randomness…

Random question asked of me this week by an online friend’s small child… “What is my favorite thing in nature?”

This is a really hard question, as it is so depending upon my mood and what I might be enjoying in the natural world at any given moment. I love the oceans; their power, movement, source of life and unbelievable beauty. I love porcupines; how they amble to and fro and are so much BIGGER than one would expect. I love clouds, gentle breezes, sunsets, ladybugs and hummingbirds.

Today, I love bumblebees the best of all. Their plump little bodies, so soft to the touch. How their tiny legs dangle behind them reminiscent of a little one on a swing. Their gentle droning as they fly around your waist in tall patches of wildflowers. I love their lopsided path, stumble and turn as they change their bitty minds mid-flight.  Yep, today it’s bumblebees. =)

I have been in a contemplative mood all week, and have not had enough cohesive thoughts to string together a meaningful sentence, let alone a decent post. This growth thing is simultaneously freeing and all-consuming. I even find my mind wandering while I am teaching my foxling, which is not even on the fringes of normal for me. I feel happy; lighter than I have since I can remember… but I also feel the changes deep in my physical body. It is almost an itch, like that of a healing scab… if I could just scratch the right spot for long enough, these layers of irritation, insecurity and indecision would slough off and the shiny new me that is waiting just below the surface could FINALLY explode into being !

As you may be able to tell, patience is not something I was gifted with. I am an action kind of gal… if I am not making something happen, I tend to stagnate unhappily. I am working on this, and have been able to shift my feelings away from the truth of the matter at last. But it does not make the waiting any more comfortable… I am just able to see the forest thru the trees now. =)

On the “Re-creating Tish” front, things are going pretty well. I am still decreasing, hit my 20 # mark three months in. Not bad, some days I dance and laugh, kiss my girl and twirl her. But there is still so far to go… like climbing Everest. I have all the equipment, am almost half-way there, but some days the path seems interminable. So I pull up the big girl panties (which are loose now) and keep hiking. Stub my toe now and then, get a little cold and shaky at times, but the top is closer every day.

The Historian and I were talking last night, while drawing and listening to her iPod. The fact that I was able to keep up a conversation with her while listening to her entire catalog of Katy Perry and Eminem songs is a testament to my awesome-mumma skillz, if I do say so myself. She said I need to win the lottery, so that I could go back to college and just stay there. =) My darling girl knows me, that is for sure. If money were no object, I would study Literature and Analysis, and minor in Latin studies. I would get a couple of PhD’s , because one is never enough. I would want to be the Department Head at an Ivy, and push for the untraditional students to be accepted. I would have a large lecture hall in which I could share my knowledge, a small office where friends could enjoy a cup of coffee with me, and spend months every year traveling and making sure under-represented children all around the globe were given opportunities. Oh, do not get me wrong, I am not completely altruistic, I would do so much for myself as well. =) Sigh, sounds so nice…

It is snowing again, but since I have a full fridge and gas tank, I have no worries.  Only around a foot is expected between now and tomorrow morning, maintaining our mild-winter trend. Last year, we were surrounded by yards of snow, storms every week between December and March. This year we are lucky to be measuring in inches, but the winter is not over yet. It may have a trick or two up its icy sleeve. We have been so lucky, no power outages, light snow, lots of sun… I am not feeling my usual February funk, you know the one that makes you gnaw your own arm off to get out the door. I attribute this to the daily dose of sun and a disgusting yet healthy morning shake. Lots of vitamins, good fats and organic fruit and sprouts makes me a happy girl.

It is late, and my foxing is almost done with her workout. I will cook some eggies for her, and a small bowl of oats with apricots. My own workout today was short, but effective. I am taking time to meditate each morning, and feel that is as important to my personal goals as is sweating. Time to embrace the responsibilities of the day… I think our lessons will begin with Literature today. =)

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