same old song and dance…

If you are a regular visitor to this blog, you know I have been going thru some changes. =) Well, that is putting it a little mildly. One thing I have been really committed to for the last few months is getting my mojo back. This is turning into quite the process; one of losing weight, lots of self-discovery, creating a life of MY choosing, remembering things that I once loved and still bring me joy… it is a work in progress, but I am really loving the work. Even the painful times, of realization, acceptance and discovery are worth it, if I come out the other side ME again.

I have been working out every day, something we all know is necessary to long lasting weight loss and strength. Before The Professor and I were married, I worked out about 5 days a week. This was in addition to working on my feet 12 hour shifts, walking, hiking, rock climbing, swimming, diving, dancing and generally being active. No wonder I was so tiny ! In my single days, I had the money and time to pursue whatever exercise and activity of my choosing, a luxury I have not had since she was born and we decided to homeschool her in a rigorous, classical manner.

So there I am every morning, popping in a DVD, lacing up the sneakers, and sweating. Every day, I am able to stretch further, keep my footwork more accurate and do more complicated moves. I feel a sense of wicked accomplishment after a session; that crazy bitch on the disc tried to kill me, but I showed her ! =) As I am doing the workout, snippets of music change as our pace increases. I laugh every single day, joyfully and out loud… how many years have I been doing this ?! My ballet instructor have me a VHS tape back in the 80’s, and then there was Jane Fonda. There has always been someone staring at me from the screen, urging me to do just one more set. This I remember, this feeling of insanity at the fact I am talking to the television, moving furniture and all the jumping that I am sure all my neighbors just love.

My pants are getting baggy, my shirts are looser around the arms. I am feeling stronger and happy, like I can accomplish ANYTHING ! It is a long time coming, but I can almost see myself in the mirror again, the faint outline of who I want to be, who I am working to create. =) Talk about empowering.

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