a work in progress…

We are all a work in progress.

I truly BELIEVE that everyone is doing the best they can with the tools, knowledge and presence of mind they have at any given moment.

Then what is a girl to do when someone is holding her progress back, when someone’s “best” is not enough for her to deal with in a loving, accepting manner? Does the girl change her expectations yet again, losing a bit more of herself, even though she is now merely a tiny ember of the woman-burning-bright she once was?

Obviously, one’s behaviors are driven by one’s needs. However, certain circumstances dictate you behave in a particular manner, even though you know in your beating heart, it is not what is best for YOU. Perhaps, though, it is what is best for the situation, the arrangement. If you are beholden to another for the basic necessities, how much can you rock the boat? How often can you disagree before your needs are no longer met?

Maybe that other person is not doing their “best”, but what is easier for them at the time. Can you call them out on it, their lack of effort, or do you breathe deeply, meditate some more, and hope they come to the realization that they are not doing what they claim to be?

As a parent, I try so hard every day to protect my daughter from harm, to teach her to be true to herself, to give her a sense of self that will carry her thru life. It is so easy when they are young; simple lessons like share, wash your hands, don’t bite are learned quickly. As she gets older and I see her loved ones not giving her the same respect they give the adults in their life, things get messier. I want her to have what she needs, and desires, but we do not treat our children as equals, instead as people who should do our bidding. In recent years, I have begun to treat her with more equalness, not allowing her to rule the roost, but to play an important role on our daily lives. After all, it is her life as well. Compromises must be made, and in learning to do so, we have forged a stronger bond. She comes to me with almost everything on her mind, and feels safe and knows I will not judge her unfairly. How do I teach her to deal with those who do not treat her respectfully and with compassion? That is the real problem, the lack of compassion. Some of us have it in spades, and it seems as if others do not know the meaning of the word.

Once again, I am back to expectations… How can I accept others for exactly who they are at this precise moment, yet desire more from them? More openness, honesty, compassion… more true, real emotion? The lesson for today is that life, while wild, happy, painful and exciting, is simply not fair. =) Life is suffering, and you will never be free from that suffering until you want nothing. In craving less, you can focus on your own being, and create new possibilities and paths that you can take, toward your own personal happiness and bliss. I am mostly there, desiring less for myself, to give myself more. But where my foxling is concerned, that is another story. I want her to have it all, right now. All the happiness, joy, love, acceptance, health, bliss, productivity, and self-awareness that life has to offer. Who does not want all this and more for those they love? Ah, the eternal conundrum.


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